I have to ask. Are we the only household in Northern Ireland who groans and asks "WHO EVVVER TOLD JULIAN SIMMONS HE WAS FUNNY?" whenever he graces us with his presence on the telly?

I can't work out if it is just us who think that he ought to have dropped that fake Belfast accent about 1985 - a year after he started it. Well, ok, 1995 then? No? For crying out loud he should have ditched it by 2005 then!

Or, if we are in the minority and everyone else in the country loves it. Perhaps you could let me know.

I think he is a lovely person - but I can not stand the accent he puts on.

Julian, please stop.

Tags: Rants, UTV, Television

TA DA . . . I'm back . . . Did you miss me?

After a quick scoot to Manchester Airport to be picked up by Jacqui on Monday morning to Nik's Country, two Apple stores (nope- Stuart WASN'T working in the Arndale one Bah-Humbug-Didn't-He-Know-I-Was-Coming-Just-To-See-Him?), a wander round Manchester's Arndale Shopping Centre, went up in the Wheel (and again and again and again doesn't this thing ever stop?) then Meadowhall near Sheffield, a Wild Goose Chase round Sheffield then a blistering hot day trip to the Yorkshire Sculpture Park to see the Andy Goldsworthy Exhibitions and finally on to Newcastle for a little night time photography of the bridge and some day time photography of the Baltic Mill and the different exhibitions currently there *draws breath* I am back.

We had a great time, packing in the events in a relaxed pace so that I feel rested and topped up with culture after the many exhibitions we visited. I managed to take quite a few photos with perhaps 30 which I really love. Most of my favourites were taken in Baltic Mill and I would love to go back there again. I need to go back to their book shop - it was absolutely mega and I had to distance myself from the fantastic books I saw because I had hand luggage only and after buying presents for the kids and a new camera bag for myself - I was going to struggle getting my hold all up and over my head in to the over head lockers as it was. Next time though. . .

There is certainly more in that general area of Newcastle / Gateshead to be explored on future visits.

I will most definitely have a separate post about the YSP exhibition. I have quite a few things to say about it - bordering on a rant! So watch out for that later on.

A couple of items worthy of mention. . .

Much to my great delight I am featured in a magazine this month (the September issue) in a beautifully written piece about me and my love of Macs. It's a lovely addition to my scrapbook. Thanks Chris!

Iain did indeed pick up his new car while I was away - I came home in a completely different vehicle to the one which ferried me to the airport. He seems to really like it - the journey from the airport to the house was filled with me being shown all the knobs and switches and the fantastic 50.9 miles per gallon on the trip counter. Once more we have three cars in the drive way - let's hope the old one gets sold before IT rusts away!

On the return flight the guy sitting in front of me had the Threadless t shirt Sally Finds A Stray while I was wearing my Communist Party but I see that they have a hoody in that design now and I really quite fancy that - being red and all . . . Which brings me nicely to the fact that, if you are really quick, you can catch the last couple of days of a $10 sale at Threadless. I am very tempted to go looking at the ones I haven't seen - I haven't been paying an awful lot of interest to the new t shirts this past while - but - where do you stop? I could spend a fortune there if I started looking!

And - the kids go back to school on Monday and I can not wait to get back to work full time again. Plus, Jessica is going in to P4 which means she stays in until the same time as David now - I could actually do an almost full day at work and come home early . . . we'll see how this pans out over the next while.

That's it for now. . . I'll work on the YSP post later.

Tags: Holidays, Photos

Bimbette #1: Well, we weren't, like, BFF, but we were, like... F...?
Bimbette #2, nodding knowingly: Mmm.

Tags: Friends

A meme for you - cos like - I don't have anything to do obviously other than add multiple blogs to my site today.

Type a letter of the alphabet into your web browser address bar, and see what comes up on the ol’ autocomplete. Should be fun . . . you think I can do this 100% honestly or would there be a few in there I would rather you didn't know about?

A - http://anydanger.net/ kinda could have guessed that one.
B - http://bestmacsoftware.org/ yay for mac stuff!
C - Tamron Zoom Lens hmm - strange - I have one of these already - why would I have been looking at it again - ahhh - Nik!
D - http://www.dopiaza.org/flickr/setmgr/ yay for Flickr. I loves my Flickr I do.
E - http://www.ebay.com/ boring
F - http://flickr.com/ predictable but may as well check out recent comments while I am there!
G - http://gmail.com
H - http://www.handycandy.co.uk/fantastic-fizzy-sweet-hamper-p-218.html recent link from Jac
I - http://i0005.photobucket.com/albums/0005/icanhascheezburger/2007/8/22/2/128322474305768750TwitterkittehI.jpg recent link from Nik
J - http://www.jpgmag.com/
K - http://www.kaboodle.com/reviews/smarties-desktop-calendar-by-teresa-ferguson umm - not too sure about this one!
L - http://www.livejournal.com/
M - http://www.moo.com/ YAYAYAYAY for Moooo!
N - http://www.nikfletcher.com/ Yay for Nik
O - https://onlinebanking.firsttrustbank.co.uk/hb1/ft/signon Checking my bank account every few hours for the chance there may be some money in it . . .
P - http://www.pcworld.co.uk/ tut
Q - Nowt
R - http://rocketgallery.com/ex_khp_122.html# Oh wow - love this guy's photos!
S - http://www.sitemeter.com/ check this every few hours to see if you have read my last one or not
T - http://www.sitemeter.com/ another tut - this is a whole blog in itself!
U - http://uneasysilence.com/archive/2007/08/11860/ I know this has been around for a long time but I only saw it recently - another recent link from Nik
V - Nowt
W - Warehouse Express the new camera bag I NEED
X - Nowt
Y - http://www.ysp.co.uk/view.aspx?id=457 Grin grin grin grin grin grin
Z - final Nowt here.
Boring stuff throughout! Sorry.

Tags: Memes

YAY! Fantastic news for my very good mate (whether he wants to be or not!) Nik of the Nik Fletcher type fame. He has been working his way up from a lowly *help Susan out with all her RapidWeaver problems* to *ZOMFG can I has job wif RealMac then I can write 4 Download Squad an also iz nao 2 be findz writin for TUAW*

How cool is HE? And to think I knew him before he was famous.

Congratulations! The Starbucks are on you mucker!

Tags: Nik

This morning I was cleaning up my gmail account. Moving some emails to archive and creating a couple of filters etc. I can't remember what I did - but the next thing I was sitting looking at someone else's gmail account. Not mine. . . Now - don't panic - it wasn't a random person - it was someone I have been helping set up a new machine and had organised her a new gmail account so she can keep track of all her other email addresses so her details were on my system. . . But. I did not a. sign out of my account and b. didn't enter any login details for hers.

When I looked at her inbox I realised I could create a few filters for her while I was there - I added a few so all the new emails will be automatically have certain labels applied. Cos I am kind like that. And I know that she wont mind. IF she realises!

Still perplexed about being in her account in the first place though, I signed out and tried to sign in to mine.

Nuh uhhh! That wasn't going to be easy! All I could see were the options in the screen grab here - "your.mum, your.dad, your.fish and your.sockpuppet" all, very obviously, nothing to do with me. Thing was though - when I tried to sign in as myself there was no way to do that.

Thinking it was a glitch I restarted Firefox. Still there. Then restarted the whole laptop. Still there. WTF?

I finally found that if I tried to sign in as your.mom, I was given the error that the password was incorrect and THEN my normal signin screen was there.

I have been using gmail for approximately three years now and have never come across this sort of thing before - I checked on Google for some reference to it but found nothing! Am just sticking it in here as reference for the next person should it happen again!

Anyone found this happen to them? Howcome I got logged out and in to someone else's account??

Weird huh?

Tags: GMail

We are thinking (repeat THINKING) about changing Iain's car. I don't like to drive it - have not sat in the driver's seat since pulling a muscle in my back the last time and he is spending a fortune on petrol every week. He has the chance of a diesel car and may go for it. We would then get rid of his one. We aren't selling mine cos I still love it. Even though it has 156,000 miles on it.

Cast your mind back to when I was 19 and got my first car - it was a Talbot Horizon. Blue. It had a particular smell inside it and I bought it before I passed my test so would sit in it just to pretend I was driving - I couldn't wait to pass my test!

The woman who sold it to me frowned at me when I said I would buy a radio to put in it - she didn't believe in such things. Radios only distracted you from concentrating on the road. I wonder what she would think about iPods and mobile phones all tuned in to the speaker system the way they are these days! She was bonkers though - she used to wash the car in fairy liquid which would have been terribly bad for the paint work. The paint that was still on the car, over the rust. . .

I passed my test the second time round - the first time the guy didn't seem to like the idea that I sailed through red lights for some reason - and was soon zooming up and down the road to college singing away to tapes of Chris De Burgh and T'Pau and Fleetwood Mac and Dirty Dancing and such like.

The battle with the rust was finally lost when I needed to jack the car up one day to see what was behind the wheel. I put the jack in the jack point and cranked it up. This left a large gap between the top of the wheel and the wheel arch and I was just about to stick my head in there to look behind it when the jack went clean through the rust around the jack point and the car came crashing down with a bounce.

I always laugh at the thought of me sitting there, caught by the throat, shouting "Helllp. Heeeelllppp" in to the belly of the engine for three days before someone came to release me. Thankfully, I hesitated long enough not to have that happen!

I advertised the car in the paper but no one wanted it once they saw it. Finally I got £20 for it at the local scrap yard - I think there was about £20 of petrol in it when I drove it round but the body was well rotted and it would have cost a clean fortune to get it through the next mot.

So. The car was scrapped. It had 56,000 miles on it. It was just a baby! Especially when you think that our Renault now has a hundred thousand miles MORE than that on it and - ooooh no - I am not going to say anything out loud about it still going strong - but you get the message!

T'uh - things aren't built like they were in the old days.

Thankfully.

Tags: Car, Talbot, Nostalgia

Jessica and I ditched David today in favour of an easy life. He went to the child minder's and we went to work.

Driving along the road she quietly asked "Mummy, what age does a witch have to be to have herpes?"

I'll let that sink in for a few moments while you think it over.

Witch? Herpes? Age?

Got an answer yet?

"Jessica, I really can't hear you with your window open like that. What did you say?"

"What age does a BITCH have to be to have PUPPIES?"

Ahhhhhhhhhh. That one was a little easier to answer.

Obviously reproduction is on her mind, for whatever reason, as the next question a few miles down the road was:

"Can you choose when to have babies or do they just happen naturally?"

Some questions are best answered by Papa. Some by Auntie Lesley. . . I think we need to book a session with Auntie Lesley for this one . . . .

Tags: Jessica, Witch, Herpes

Over the past couple of weeks I have been looking at some very good photographs by other people. I have felt the need to become more creative. I would love to throw myself into Fine Art Photography and be paid huge wads of dosh for the privilege of hanging my stuff in other people's houses. I would love to lose the portrait side of the studio and concentrate on things that really interest me. Like Architecture in Prague, Barcelona, Rome, Paris, Hong Kong and even a place I saw a photo of this evening called Fanny Bay which tickled me greatly. No idea where it is but it made me chuckle.

I have had two great leaps forward in this quest for change this week.

The other day I had a woman in the studio whispering in hushed tones that she wanted me to take nude photos of her to send to her boyfriend. After blinking a lot at her I tried to explain the difference between glamour and porn and we agreed that neither of us wanted the latter. We chatted for quite a while, warming to each other and always up for a challenge, I booked her in for a shoot under the strict instructions that she has to let me know in plenty of time if she bottles out.

Then. Today. I received my fifth phone call from a man asking me to do nude photography for him. The previous callers have asked for couples to be shot but this guy tried a different tact - he needed shots for an agency of just himself. Ever mindful of wind ups I played along with a fair amount of scepticism. I didn't say 'No" outright and I think he was surprised about that. I asked him what agency it was - he didn't have an answer. Did they have a web site? No answer. Did he know what they required in way of size of photo, number of photos etc? He hadn't an answer for that either. I asked if I had been recommended or if the agency had suggested a few photographers to him but he claimed he hadn't hung around long enough to ask too many questions.

All he knew was that he had to have full frontal nude photos taken and would I be up to the job? I decided to call his bluff and said "Yes but only if he agreed to an assistant being in the studio at the same time." The fact that this shook him a little made me wonder if it was a genuine call.

His telephone number was withheld and he gave his name only as John. We parted on good terms - I invited him to come down to the studio to meet me previous to the shoot should he wish to put his mind at rest that I was a nice person. He suddenly threw into the conversation that he could send me samples of what I was to provide. Thinking that these would be samples from the agency I agreed and gave him my work email address, stating there was a great spam filter on it. It is so good - the photos have never appeared.

I am perfectly prepared to believe this is a complete wind up - I don't know if it will come to anything but it gave me a giggle, something to blog about and a little more confidence to be able to deal with the next person who asks me to do the same.

That'll teach me to wish for change and something out of the ordinary! At least some more of my photos could be on their way to New Zealand. Yay.

Back to my wedding albums tomorrow then huh?

Tags: Work, Photos, Clients

Here's what to do with your next four minutes fifty three seconds.

It will move you.

Tags: Postsecret

Apple have a wonderful new widget featured on their Dashboard Downloads page. It is for breast-feeding mothers to record which *side* they should use next.

This has tickled me greatly. How enterprising of the author to have thought this widget up. All that was ever available to me, when I was breast-feeding 7 years ago, was to leave the zip of the nursing bra a little down on the side I had just *used* . . . or was it the side that was *next-to-be-used*?

Is it any wonder Jessica gave up on breast-milk at 6 months - she probably was fed-up sucking on air!

The only problem is - my bra theory worked better because it went everywhere with me - it is a little harder to take your Mac with you to the In-Laws and you don't have to power up a bra zip for the 4am feed. .. . . hmmmm.

If you use this widget: a. Congratulations and b. Let me know how you get with it!

Tags: Apple, Fun, Quirky, Bra, Breastfeeding

I have just realised that my Technorati details are dreadfully out of date and I really need to update them. To do this - I need to post this post. . . .

Technorati Profile

Thanks.

Move along now. . .

Tags: General

I don't generally blog about the weddings I do but a couple of things happened at the one I photographed today that made this one memorable.

I rushed to get to the bride's house on time, only to have to wait for almost 45 minutes for her to get back from the hairdressers. During that time I took more than my fair share of photos of flowers!

The mum asked me to take a couple of snaps of their two dogs. We went out to the back garden but the dogs (at least one of which was a bitch) were too interested in receiving cuddles and tummy rubs for me to be able to take anything half decent.

Their names? Ali and Sasha. Ok - that wont mean a lot to most of you - but it made me giggle at the time.

The bride had three bridesmaids, all in the same style and colour of dress. This is the moment, after signing the register, that the chief bridesmaid was told the reason why she wasn't filling out her dress as much as she should have been and why one of the other girls was having difficulty breathing. They had each other's dresses on. It all made for quite a giggle - even the Canon had a little titter at that one. They had to stop the proceedings for a few minutes so they could go and swap over!

Probably best not to ask about this one!

I had a good day but was glad to get home at the end of it all. I wouldn't want to be doing this every day!

Tags: Work, Wedding, Dogs

My husband very kindly bought the children a swimming pool without consulting me. He ordered it on eBay, it arrived, he blew it up, he filled it and this evening I arrived home to find that it was jam packed full of children as he drove off to visit family.

The kids have been playing in it since the weekend on their own but this evening most of their friends were either in it or standing around it in our back garden.

What he has failed to remember is that *I* am the one here most of the time and I am now tied to having to sit and listen to screaming kids in case the inevitable happens - they get splashed and don't like it, they fall and hurt themselves or they drown.

This evening, in the space of 10 minutes I had to order one shivering, rather ghostly white child out of the pool and march him home - he was far too cold to be there any longer. I then had to take a towel to another child who fell off a blow up dolphin and got scared when his face went under water. I had to rescue three towels from the dirt only to find that two of them are our main bath towels and are now soaking wet. I had to mop up the water in the living room because the patio doors are open to allow the pump be connected to a power supply and this means the children think it is perfectly ok to run from one end of the garden to the other via the kitchen, hall and living room.

I am not a happy mummy at the moment. It isn't the sort of thing you can go off and leave them to get on with. One of the boys in there this evening had to stand on tippy toes to keep his nose above water.

I feel like saying "Bah! Humbug!" several times. I know I am being unreasonable but no one asked me if I thought it was a good idea. I certainly would never have said yes to such a large pool - it took a whole day to fill it!

Hmmph.

Tags: Swimming Pool, Children, Neighbours