That's the longest break I have ever had from blogging since I started - it wasn't meant to be - things just kind of got in the way. And I have been a bit stressed about a few things so that tends to keep me away from the internet in general never mind the blog. For days at a time I go no where near the internet and have lost all interest in most of the RSS feeds in my reader which now tells me I have thousands of unread items.

No one emailed to see what was going on so I mustn't have been missed much!

Remember Iain wrote his car off a while back? Sharing a car was starting to lose it's novelty value, especially as the children had to get up on their days off to take Daddy to work.

After many many weeks (about four months!) we finally found a car good enough for Iain to be interested in. We got it on Easter Tuesday and I drove it to a wedding-shoot on the Thursday and by the Sunday it had packed up and needed hospitalised. It basically stopped dead in the middle of the fast lane of the motorway half a mile from our exit.

Iain and I both went in to shock over this. Yea, it is only a car but we had spent so long looking for a good one, we had taken a loan from his parents to be able to afford this one and now it had made a fool out of us by going and breaking down. Within days of us driving the car in to our drive-way we had to be towed home and then have not one but two breakdown trucks flashing their lights in to the neighbours bedrooms in the middle of the night. . . it was just more than we could bear to be honest.

We had a very paranoid week thinking that the seller had passed on a dud but the thing that went wrong wasn't something that could have been predicted so that calmed us down a little. Even so, we had to part with £900 to get it out of the garage (he knocked off a fiver for us - yay!).

We are now back up to two cars again but after travelling together for so long it has proved to us that we don't need two every day and we do tend to leave one at home most days still.

The kids are fine. David is now needing showers every day and we have to drag him kicking and screaming to the tins of deodorant which tend to gather dust in his room. I don't like the idea of him growing up like this - he is almost as tall as us now and can actually wrestle Iain to the ground if Iain isn't prepared for it. He isn't a baby, a toddler or even a small child anymore. He argues with everyone including his own shadow and bullies Jessica terribly.

Jessica wakes up moaning, moans throughout the day, moans about going to bed and if I listen carefully now, I am sure I can hear her moaning in her sleep.

As I said - they are both fine.

Work has changed for me ever so slightly over the past while for a couple of reasons. The first one is; I have had a friend working with me part time for a couple of months. This month she will be with me almost full-time while she looks for a proper full-time job. She is doing loads of creative stuff that I don't have time for but also the kind of thing which is out of my league either skills-wise or because I could do it but would take forever to get round to finishing.

This timing has been quite good for me - I needed a good boot up the backside to really get my business going - crank it up a notch - and having to pay a (albeit a small) wage is making me be a little more proactive when it comes to enticing the customers in through the doors. We have added to the range of products the studio offers and with her Photoshop skills we are starting to produce exciting things like books and nicer albums, the likes of which my customers have never seen before.

I also have jumped in to a new venture. I have devised a kinda "bonny baby" competition for primary school children. We sat and thought it through with the help of another friend in the business and had leaflets and fliers printed. It finally launched it this week in the local newspaper. On the first morning we went in to the cafe next door and I read the OTHER local newspaper with a sinking heart. It looked to me that the other paper was a much better place to advertise and I really thought I had made a mistake right at the very start of the project by placing the ad in the wrong publication.

Much to my delight, that first day we received more calls than we could handle - in the first week I reckon we have taken more than a normal month's worth of
bookings and I am now having to pace myself and not over-book days to maintain energy levels.

It is very nice having someone else in the office - it is great company - someone to bounce ideas off - someone you can rely on to raise the quality of the work being produced and someone you can leave to get on with the important things while you investigate other avenues of income. While I am not having to do the day-to-day things she is doing, I can get on with taking the business to a new level. For example, I am working out of the studio next week taking photos of something for a software company who create console games. It is all very hush-hush at the moment and my name wont be on any of the games - but it is still an interesting thing to put on my cv at a later point.

There ya go - a quick update for you. What's been happening where you are?

Tags: Life, Work, Break, Blog

It has been a wee while since I updated this blog and the fact it has been a wee while has made it even longer - you know how hard it is to do something when it has been a wee while?

One of the reasons it has been a wee while is that I got a new bit of kit - or two. I got a 24inch 2.8 iMac to replace my Powerbook which went a little pyscho on me. It went so psycho I had to claim on the insurance for it. I reserve the right to get another laptop in the future - but to be honest it isn't likely now - I am having far too much fun with the big screen now.

I have to say - in the past while I have taken a couple of big chances and this one has definitely worked well for me. The iMac has transformed my working life. So much so that I can't remember how I worked without it before and can't believe I worked with a laptop screen, predominately, until recently.

Let me put it in to perspective. I do a thing for my clients which doesn't directly make me money - it used to take me around 5 hours after a shoot to do this thing and really I didn't NEED to do it but I LIKED to do it but was getting to the stage where the 5 hour malarkey was holding me back from being more productive and prevented me taking an important step towards taking on more work.

With the new machine this whole job now takes less than an hour and a half.

Impressed?

No?

Ok - try this one - it is simpler.

One thing that used to take me 23 minutes (and froze the rest of the machine out) now takes 3 minutes (and allows me to continue to use the rest of the machine). That's worth it for me.

I paid the extra few pounds and got the wireless mouse and keyboard in the deal. For some reason the wireless keyboard boosts productivity too. I know that sounds silly but it is so damned tiny that I can twist it at Photoshop-keyboard-shortcut angles much easier than a clumpy wired one (or one attached to the screen!).

It was a kind of Buy One Get One Free deal - buy the iMac and get an iPod free. . . . I bumped my purchase up a little and got the 8gb Nano rather than the free Shuffle. Oh my - how gorgeous is the Nano? I didn't NEED it but as it had almost £100 off the normal price it was hard not to get something a little more than the free offering. (That £100 is a bit like the theory that "28 is nearly 30 and 30 is almost 40 and 40 is almost half a century" in that it was actually a lot less than £100 discount but I told my husband it was almost £100 and that is what he believes OK???)

I have to say I love the Nano. More so than the 60gb Photo iPod I had previously. It is now quite common for me to be sitting processing in work with the Nano playing away in my pocket. I even bought new ear phones for it as a kind of Welcome present. Even the ear phones are sexy - so much easier to wear than the ones I had before which always hurt.

How can I love the 8gb Nano more than the 60gb Photo? Well, it has to be admitted (despite me loving my 24 inches of iMac!) that size isn't everything. CoverFlow is to die for and the sound quality is definitely better methinks. I have shown the Nano (sorry - forgot to introduce it - it is called RED - for obvious reasons. .. ) to loads of people now - some who wouldn't necessarily be Apple people and everyone has "Oohed" over it.

As this machine had already been born before Leopard came out it was shipped with both Tiger AND Leopard install discs but it wasn't until I thought I had over-written Leopard with my FireWire Transfer from the laptop that I realised Leopard had never been installed! IT DID take a while to do the transfer from the laptop and then the Leopard update but it was worth it. It was fantastic to have every single thing I had on the laptop already sitting waiting for me on the iMac.

Yes, there have been a couple of teething problems. Skitch and Adium refused to work on the iMac when it was at home but both worked fine at the studio. . . After a while I went looking for an answer and found DNS settings that sorted the problem for me. Aren't forums great?

What else? Umm. . ..

I should be on commission - every one of my brain-washed PC lovin' photographer friends have fallen in love with the quality of the screen! Jealousy is all around :P

Good stuff? All of my procedures are so much faster. I love the whole CoverFlow thing - love Front Row and PhotoBooth for the craic. I know these were on previous Macs - but I haven't had them before. I have just found out that RapidWeaver saves faster on here too with the latest update. I love being able to open 32 big jpgs in less that 30 seconds which would have taken about 8 minutes on the Powerbook (had I been silly enough to try it) and love adding the studio 22 inch screen to it to spread the photos all over the place for faster wedding album manipulation. . . .

My only disappointment so far? Why does the Apple not glow / light up / change colour / do something? I keep rubbing it in case something happens.

I also require Numbers to do one thing that Excel can do. If I can get it to do that one thing I will happily remove Excel from the machine. Does anyone know how to paste file titles of photos in to a Numbers spreadsheet? Every time I do it, it tries to paste in the actual photos themselves.

It took me a while to blog about this as I wasn't quite sure which machine should keep the files for the blog safe and sound. Have decided on the iMac - I know I can update the Powerbook when I want to . .. this may change but in the meantime it is the iMac. I would very much like to be able to synch files easily between the two, especially the likes of iCal and NetNewsWire. If there are tutorials out there to do this I would be happy to receive them.

One great thing about having the iMac is that my work hours are far more productive than they ever were previously so when I leave work - I leave work behind and go home for some decent Down Time. Usually. Sometimes I take the iMac home for some Fun Time.

All I need now is a 20in iMac for the house. . . . hmmmmm . . .. . grin. . . . can you see the whole family gathered round one making it an integral part of our life? NO! Me neither - let them get their own - the iMacs are mine - all mine I say muahahahahahahahahahahaha

Tags: Apple, iMac, 24inch, Productivity

After some time, effort and considerable help from all concerned, I have finally put enough content in to my business blog to allow it to go live!

There are a couple of interesting things in there that have happened to me over the past while - but most of the wording will have been copied and pasted from here.

Go and have a look at it - if you don't have the url or can't make it up (it's my full business name dot com / blog) - let me know and I will email it to you - I really don't want it to be published here!

Tags: Blog

Last night I was in work til late, meeting with a Bride, filling in some last minute details, chatting away to her and generally taking another payment of DOSH from her!

I couldn't get a handle on her age. She is young - maybe between 20 and 23. Certainly nothing more than that.

She explained that she had recently lost a Grandad and her fiance and her had decided to bring the wedding forward so the remaining three grandparents could all attend the big day. She was close to tears at this point and then quickly changed the subject by bringing up her mum.

She explained how close she is to her and how everyone thinks they are sisters rather than mum and daughter. I nodded away as I took notes.

Then she dropped a bomb shell.

"My Mum is very young. She is only 40."

My jaw visibly dropped as the significance of this sank in.

*glances at calendar*

Tags: Work, Clients, Birthday, 40

For the past couple of months I have been working hard putting together a panel of photos for a personal exhibition to be held in a local Gallery between the 5th and the 10th November.

The photos are picked, printed and sitting at the framers waiting to be framed and signed as Limited Editions. There were originally 30 possible images to pick 10-12 finals from and I didn't like the idea of leaving the rest out totally so I have ordered a hard back book to be printed with all the images. If people like the ones which are in the book more then the ones on the wall they will be invited to order from there too. The book has been shipped and ought to be here in plenty of time.

The book gives me the chance to leave the *exhibition* behind at the gallery for the foreseeable future should anyone wish to call in and see it.

I have all my part done and feeling quite cocky at how smoothly it has all gone.

In order to pull in more visitors I jumped at the chance of sharing the gallery space with a local photographer I am friendly with. We worked together on a calendar shoot late last year and have kept in touch. He is a much bigger gadget geek than I am - forever buying new lenses for his Canon. We regularly have very lively discussions on Canon vs Nikon.

Craig took on the designing and printing of the invitations and these arrived today just in time for me to start mailing them to friends, family and previous customers.

Currently, I spend the daytime hours swinging from smugly confident that this will make me a fortune to stomach churning dreadful certain knowledge that the whole thing will crash terribly and I'll end up not recouping my costs.

I'll let you know how it goes!

If you are *local* and are interested in coming along to meet me (and Craig) on one of the two Open Nights (Tuesday 6th and Thursday 8th) then send me an email and I will pass on more details.

Tags: Work, Exhibition

There are three kinds of visitors to our work premises.

Those who come to see Iain.

Those who come to see me.

Those who come to see Bailey.

By far, those who come to see Bailey outweigh the ones who visit BOTH Iain and myself.

In the time it took me to type this post three different people called in to see him. We spend more time talking about him than we do about our own businesses. And so far only two or so visitors to us who have not wanted him in the room. He is the best sales assistant we have and the best ice-breaker. I love it when people we haven't seen for a while call in and remember his name!

And he is still the best decision we have made for a long time.

Tags: Work, Customers, Bailey

Last week I had the chance of taking on a job of photographing a building site as 17 modular units were lifted in to place. It was supposed to be a 2 day job but not everything was in place in time so it became a half day Monday and then the two full days Tuesday and Wednesday.

Every morning I got up at 6am, made a flask of coffee and a flask of soup, checked I had my memory cards, packed my bag and was on site for 7.30am. Just goes to show - I'll do anything for money!

The routine involved me getting on to the roof of the building next to the site. The site had various diggers, tippers and small cranes on it with varying sizes of holes to be filled, cemented, made larger and then filled some more. The roof had a maintenance fire escape which had a gate on the bottom to stop civilians wandering *accidentally* on to the roof. The whole area is being revamped so the roof was being used by the plumbers to join heating to the modular units when they arrived. . .

I would walk across the roof (avoiding looking over the edge) and climb (slowly) on to the scaffolding at the end. This gave me a great view of the whole site. From where I was, the lorries were driving past just 4 feet from me and as they went through a pot hole the whole rigs would lurch back and forwards. Scary.

By the end of the few days, I have to say, I was very much acclimatised to the whole "OMG I am on scaffolding and can't look over the edge and look how far up I am and how close those lorries are* thing.

The architect had joked with me during the reccy day that it was all about "Facing Your Fears* and that came back to me on the Wednesday when I arrived and thought the lifting of the units had started without me and panicked myself in to climbing the scaffolding ladder rather than using the slower option of going up and round the roof. I don't like ladders. As I went hand over hand up it I chanted "Just Keep Walking . . . Just Keep Walking . . " and found it a lot easier to keep a rhythm that way. Turned out it was a full hour before they were ready to lift the first unit that day but the whole experience will make it easier the next time I have to do anything like that. As will the time that I got ready to go home and got to the bottom of the stairs to find the plumbers had already left for the day and had locked up behind them! I had to climb over the gate. Not easy with all that gear.

The whole thing was a great experience. I got some super photos for them. They kinda just wanted the activity documented but they got a bit more than that in the end. I got access to a roof I wouldn't normally get on to - I pushed my limits - and I learned lots about the building trade just by having to observe them for 2 and a half days non-stop.

Did you know that those little digger operators are so skilful they can make the moving of stones around look like a finely choreographed ballet? Seriously! Don't laugh. Did you know that if you have 17 units to move from England to Northern Ireland you don't have to ring round haulage companies - there is a company who will do that for you? Did you know that if a guy is on the Dole he doesn't really want you to take his photo while brushing up the place? Did you know that these people can clear a site with very little communication between each other - they just get on with it and help each other. Did you know that people working on a building site can be the most friendly people EVER? Did you know there were no women on the site other than me?

The roof wasn't the only high I was on. I thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience and am hoping that this is a *foot in the door* with the people who hired me. There is a second part to the job soon and I hope to be asked to do it too.

Have got a stinking cold now though. Bleh.

Tags: Work

Here is one thing I have learned in ten years of being in business. It holds true no matter what business you are in.

The people who NEED you to bend over backwards to help them out of their panic are the most likely to let you down or mess you about.

I suppose it stands to reason. If they are in a panic they thrash about in it looking for someone to help them out of it. That means they use the conversation with you to define their own thoughts about the situation. These thoughts will change in a while and what you thought were concrete plans turn in to a thought-process for the other person.

The thing to remember is that they will have no concept of the amount of work you will be putting in to the situation from your side in order to appear professional and helpful. So don't expect any thanks for that.

The person who NEEDS their phone taken apart and working again before their sick mother goes in to hospital / child goes on holiday for the first time / husband has to drive to Dublin will forget all about the phone you have spent 2 hours working on when their next crisis comes along (and they do come along for these people all the time) and will only call in to collect it after a week. And that will be after you have ordered in a part especially for them and paid Special Delivery charges that almost wipe out the profit of the repair. . . .

Or the family who simply can not get all together on any day other than a Sunday due to work commitments so you grudgingly agree to sacrifice the only day you have as a full family to facilitate them and then when you ring them to see where they are "they forgot - sorry!"

The person who suddenly gets an unexpected date for a wedding and needs to ring round every photographer they can get their hands on at 10pm at night to discuss plans which are really being made up on the spur of the moment and will be asking for the likes of "Can you be in three places at once please?" so you try to figure out how to do that because you are a helpful individual when really any sane person would say "No. Even Superman had problems with that kinda job" will totally forget who they rang and when you ring back for some more detail the next day you will find they have "just signed up with a friend of a friend who can arrange for his best mate to be in two of the places . . . "

Or the person who NEEDS to have the family photographed during the Christmas holidays (when I am shut) because one member has just flown in from Outer Mongolia WILL be the person you never hear from again. I am STILL waiting for an order from that girl despite her NEEDING prints urgently.

Or you will get the odd person phoning on a Friday afternoon at 4pm who needs photos taken and ready to email to their merchandising company on Monday. You go out of your way to rearrange your whole weekend to visit them on the Saturday to discuss the layout of the job and spend an hour with them giving them the benefit of your expertise and artistic ideas, while the children kill each other waiting in the studio when really, you ought to say "No, I will have to juggle too many things to do this job to your time-scale."

You then disappoint your children by telling them you wont be available all day Sunday as you have to work. You wait for 3 hours for the call from the client to see what time she wants you there and finally ring to ask only to find out that she "was just about to ring to say the merchandising people have a photographer already lined up and will send them next week."

There is a balance between "helpful and professional" and "sticking to your guns with the details you know work for you without coming across as arrogant". I find this a difficult one as you have to throw "eager to make money" in to the mix.

I know all of this is *just business*. You get the rough with the smooth. But every time I get a customer who can't abide by my "hours of business" or needs "images by Monday" I just KNOW they are going to be trouble.

And it is less likely that I will be helpful for the next person.

/rant

Tags: Work, Rants, Customers

Over the past couple of weeks I have been looking at some very good photographs by other people. I have felt the need to become more creative. I would love to throw myself into Fine Art Photography and be paid huge wads of dosh for the privilege of hanging my stuff in other people's houses. I would love to lose the portrait side of the studio and concentrate on things that really interest me. Like Architecture in Prague, Barcelona, Rome, Paris, Hong Kong and even a place I saw a photo of this evening called Fanny Bay which tickled me greatly. No idea where it is but it made me chuckle.

I have had two great leaps forward in this quest for change this week.

The other day I had a woman in the studio whispering in hushed tones that she wanted me to take nude photos of her to send to her boyfriend. After blinking a lot at her I tried to explain the difference between glamour and porn and we agreed that neither of us wanted the latter. We chatted for quite a while, warming to each other and always up for a challenge, I booked her in for a shoot under the strict instructions that she has to let me know in plenty of time if she bottles out.

Then. Today. I received my fifth phone call from a man asking me to do nude photography for him. The previous callers have asked for couples to be shot but this guy tried a different tact - he needed shots for an agency of just himself. Ever mindful of wind ups I played along with a fair amount of scepticism. I didn't say 'No" outright and I think he was surprised about that. I asked him what agency it was - he didn't have an answer. Did they have a web site? No answer. Did he know what they required in way of size of photo, number of photos etc? He hadn't an answer for that either. I asked if I had been recommended or if the agency had suggested a few photographers to him but he claimed he hadn't hung around long enough to ask too many questions.

All he knew was that he had to have full frontal nude photos taken and would I be up to the job? I decided to call his bluff and said "Yes but only if he agreed to an assistant being in the studio at the same time." The fact that this shook him a little made me wonder if it was a genuine call.

His telephone number was withheld and he gave his name only as John. We parted on good terms - I invited him to come down to the studio to meet me previous to the shoot should he wish to put his mind at rest that I was a nice person. He suddenly threw into the conversation that he could send me samples of what I was to provide. Thinking that these would be samples from the agency I agreed and gave him my work email address, stating there was a great spam filter on it. It is so good - the photos have never appeared.

I am perfectly prepared to believe this is a complete wind up - I don't know if it will come to anything but it gave me a giggle, something to blog about and a little more confidence to be able to deal with the next person who asks me to do the same.

That'll teach me to wish for change and something out of the ordinary! At least some more of my photos could be on their way to New Zealand. Yay.

Back to my wedding albums tomorrow then huh?

Tags: Work, Photos, Clients

I don't generally blog about the weddings I do but a couple of things happened at the one I photographed today that made this one memorable.

I rushed to get to the bride's house on time, only to have to wait for almost 45 minutes for her to get back from the hairdressers. During that time I took more than my fair share of photos of flowers!

The mum asked me to take a couple of snaps of their two dogs. We went out to the back garden but the dogs (at least one of which was a bitch) were too interested in receiving cuddles and tummy rubs for me to be able to take anything half decent.

Their names? Ali and Sasha. Ok - that wont mean a lot to most of you - but it made me giggle at the time.

The bride had three bridesmaids, all in the same style and colour of dress. This is the moment, after signing the register, that the chief bridesmaid was told the reason why she wasn't filling out her dress as much as she should have been and why one of the other girls was having difficulty breathing. They had each other's dresses on. It all made for quite a giggle - even the Canon had a little titter at that one. They had to stop the proceedings for a few minutes so they could go and swap over!

Probably best not to ask about this one!

I had a good day but was glad to get home at the end of it all. I wouldn't want to be doing this every day!

Tags: Work, Wedding, Dogs

At the moment I am so focused on the HND stuff that needs to be done before the end of May - oh god don't even count the days that are left before hand in - that I am not even thinking beyond that date. A week ago I received an email from a woman wanting me to attend a birthday party as photographer. It was weird in that she was specific about what she wanted - pedantic was the word I thought of when I read it. But what went through my head was : this is the sort of email my mother would send out and she is a person and I wouldn't want anyone to be rude to her - so I will take this woman seriously . .

Nah - my initial reaction was "oh please go away - don't you know I am busy?"

She wanted me to give her the hourly rate for a FIVE hour long party with a particular type of album. It is one of the albums I shy away from because of the amount of work involved. In fact - the whole deal was just so "Do you really know what you are asking for here?"

I drafted an initial response and left it in my Drafts folder for a while. It read along the lines of "What you are asking me to do is the equivalent of a five hour wedding - here is my Wedding Price List - but are you sure you want to pay that amount of money for a child's birthday party?" In the end I ditched that for a more off hand "My hourly rate is: £. I don't do that album, please feel free to make an appointment at the studio to discuss this matter further."

As a professional you are caught between being polite to people you know are going to annoy you and simply cutting the crap and saying no outright when you know you are not interested. This one really pulled at my "I have to be polite but am hoping my price is too high" strings.

Dammit, the woman emailed back with a "Your fees are acceptable, please send me blah blah blah." I was snookered. I believed this woman was more trouble than she was worth and did not want to do the job but - seriously - should I really pick and choose my customers like that? Money s money n all. The only thing that rang alarm bells was the fact she wanted to organise getting the fees to me as soon as possible - I don't generally work like that.

About ten minutes after receiving her latest email I received a newsletter email from the SWPP which I am a member of. I pay fees of £100 a year for them to send me newsletters every so often and to look at the worst web site I have ever come across - it is so bad I refuse to spend more than 33 seconds on it at a time - 33 seconds has proved to be my pain threshold.

Something in their blurb caught my eye - ooo they have a BLOG! I went to check that out and the first thing I came across was the age old scam which I have referred to previously. So many people have received the invitation to photograph in a Castle in Scotland etc that they are putting lots of the scams in one place. I ran my eye down and there was MY woman's email, word for word the same with the exception of the date being earlier in the year.

The relief I had was unbelievable. Mixed with annoyance of course! The amount of angst I had had over this stupid email!

It has made me realise that I AM able to dictate the way I work. I do NOT want to discuss more than the initial contact with any customer via email and if they do not take up my invitation to drop in to the studio then I CAN cut the ties there.

Here, for the purposes of keeping it on record in case anyone else googles it and finds this entry is the email that was sent.

Hello,
I am Mary Anderson, my son, John want to mark his 10th year birthday,so i want you to come and take the photoraphy job,so i want you to get back to me if you are free for that day which is coming up on the Wednesday 20th June .. I look forward to a big party for him for his 10th birthday..The party should start at about 1pm and should last for just about 5hrs..You will be taking about 100 shots in total and they will all be in an Album (a real leather handmade binding OR leather spicer haldfield avanta album about 100 pictures 6x4 ) ...Not too worry about the distance , i know you can give me the best and i want the best and will also pay to get the best... kindly let me know the total cost plus transport expenses for the duration of one day and get back to me asap bcos i will want to make all neccessary preparation done asap..The party address is below.Thanks

Mary..
contact number:- 07024031921

Craigavon,
County Armagh
BT62 2NY


Her reply once I gave her my costs was:

Susan,
Ok, i am ok with the price per hour.. so calculate the price for 5 hrs.. ok if you cannot get the album i asked you to get , it will be good you get a good album that is not too expensive ok.. i will wait to hear from you with the whole total cost plus travel expenses and your contact details so payment can get to you asap ok.. have a wonderful weekend..

Mary ..

The SWPP BLOG can be found here.

I wont paste in my reply to her. Not unless you promise to cover your eyes.

I received an email today. Right from the Subject Line of "Photographer Needed" I was suspicious of it. I can't remember where I read it or what the scam was but I am fairly certain that this is part of a scam.

Gooday
I somehow came across your email while i was searchin for photographers online. Please i will like to Hire your profssional photography serivce for my Daughters Wedding Ceremony coming up on April 21st..I am expecting about a hundred guest for the party and i want a full photography coverage..
Pls let me know if you would be availble for the date...and the break down of the total amount it would cost for over 5 hours of full service...
The venue is would be in Glasgow, Scotland right in my resindence and we wouldnt mind paying for transport all the way down there....here is a little photograph checklist of what would b expcted:
At the house:
Mother adjusting veil
Bride in dressingroom with mirror
Bride pinning flowers on father & mother
Family portraits
Flower girl handing bouquet to bride
Bride leaving house
Father helpping Bride into car

Photograph young children as early in the proceedings
At the venue prior to ceremony:
View of venue
Groom & bestman shaking hands
Groom, bestman and ushers
Bridesmaids - with Brides mother
Brides car arriving
Bride with father & car
Bride with father, car & bridesmaids

During ceremony -- Dependant upon Priest's wishes:
Bride & father going down aisle
Shots during ceremony
Exchanging rings
Overall shot
Signing marriage certificate
Signing marriage certificate with
Priest, bestman, bridesmaids
Bride & Groom coming down aisle

After the ceremony:
B&G at door - kissing
B&G and families
Confetti
Children presenting horseshoes
At car

Gardens:
Take bridal party to gardens/beach/car park
Mood shots in gardens
Bride showing ring to bridesmaids
Brides ring hand on bouquet
Fun shots
Individual shots of bridesmaids, best man, etc.
Bridesmaids solo & with their Man

At reception:
Other special request photographs required by Bride
Candid shots
B&G with champange glasses
Record shot of cake
Cutting cake
Little flowergirls cutting cake

I will like the arrangement to be made as soon as possible because so many other things needs to be taken care of.
I will be awaiting your response soonest and i urge you to get back with the kinds of mode of services you have with their prices so i could personally choose the option which best suites me.
I would have loved to call you on phone but i'm presently having hearing difficulties.And i will let you know when i'm fit to get close to the phone.I'd prefer you contact me via email.
Your response is needed as soon as possible.
Gary

As I say, I know I have heard of a scam against photographers where they have to do something like travel somewhere away from their own area but I can't remember what it is. If anyone has further details please let me know. I do not intend to put a bid in for this job (I wonder what would happen if I put a bid in for £5k per hour . . . ) so if you are in the Glasgow, Scotland area, don't mind getting back to him with the kinds of mode of services you have and don't mind dealing travelling to his resindence then let me know and I will pass on his email address to you.

In the meantime, thanks for the little photograph checklist!

Some years ago now I was approached by a friend of a friend and asked to help out at a wedding. There was a whole story about how the couple weren't able to get married in America and had come here to tie the knot but as things were being arranged as quickly and as cheaply as possible they couldn't afford a real photographer.

I took on the job with three days notice, made a mate in the progress, gained loads of confidence and ended up with lots of material for the final piece of the course I was doing at the time.

It was because of that wedding that I am now doing what I am doing for a living.

There is a little bit of a (black humour) joke between myself and another photographer about how her clients die on her - she has had three clients die either before she manages to photograph them or shortly after. I am kinda waiting for my first.

Well, I think I win this one! The "First Person I Photographed To Be Deported" competition. . .

I read, with absolute horror, in the local paper today that "my first bride" is on the brink of being deported to America because the Home Office don't recognise the marriage. The couple have gone on to have a daughter and the wife is 8 months pregnant with their second child. I really feel for them.

There are so many people coming to this country now totally illegally and not contributing to society or living on benefits it seems such a shame to harass a couple who are trying their best to be upstanding citizens. At the moment the wife stands, at 8 months pregnant, to be deported and split up from her husband. And worse, he will be split from his wife and children.

All so unfair. I hope it works out for them soon.

The past few days has been hectic and stressful for me. All of a sudden I had far too much work for one person to handle and I don't mean the paying kind - the kind you have to do before you get to the stage of asking for money.

As I sit here stroking my Powerbook I have to thank it for behaving itself nicely during this time. I have to constantly monitor how many programs I have open but found that I had Bridge, Photoshop, iPhoto, iDVD, a CD Label program, Address Book and Excel open many times all at the same time. So long as I was careful to turn Aperture off when it wasn't required then they all played quite nicely together.

All that work is done now. Yeeeeebloodyhaaaaa. I have a lovely little pile of photos sitting on my desk at work, all named and invoiced and elastic banded together, waiting to be collected by their new owners. Some, I am delighted with. Some I am not so delighted with.

Somehow, I lost two hours today. I am not sure if it was because I only started heading in to work at 4pm (due to childminding reasons) or if I really worked so hard that I lost track of time. I did lose approximately 25 minutes when Becky phoned me and through the hysterical laughter I managed to ascertain that my last blog was so funny she was in the process of wetting her pants. We discussed the size of the puddle under her seat. I listened and smiled and laughed along companionably, waiting for her to get to reading out the punch line. And waited. And waited. Then prodded a little. It was then that she realised she had been laughing so much that she never actually read the punch line. Seemingly my stuff is so funny it doesn't require punch lines. Huh uh.

After work I headed to Tescos for a little bit of grocery shopping. I picked up a couple of things - one thing in particular that I never ever thought I would ever purchase in my life. Now I am at the point of saying it out loud I am hesitating. . . I bought. . cough. . . umm . . *losing my nerve* um. . perhaps I will tell you some other time - it is such a difficult word for me to say and so not me that I know you will laugh. . . um - no - the moment has gone. If you are at all interested you can leave a comment and I might let you know. *Is blushing* In fact - I might not ever admit to this one - unless you GUESS correctly. If it helps any - one of you not only has this item, uses it, but also has blogged a photo of yourself using it which gave me the courage to buy the same. Had it not been for you - I would never have thought of it as being something *I* could use.

*still blushing*

If it helps any - there were six of them and I think they were around £3.73. Ish.

I stood at the rear of the car dumping the groceries in the boot. I was feeling a little guilty because I had already made the decision not to return my trolley to a trolley park because the parks were WAY over there and I was WAY over here and the rain was WAY too heavy and all I wanted to do was head for home. Usually I am a good girl - I don't remember the last time I didn't return my trolley. But Dude - if they want them returned they ought to have a trolley park closer to me. Or at least provide umbrellas when it is raining. Or provide a Drive Thru. That would be good. Nods. A Drive Thru for say ten items or less - where they have to run round the shop for you getting the items for you. You know - like a petrol station at night time - when they are technically open but they door is locked - you know? Remember?

So. Standing in the rain. And a car stops behind me in a "we are either going to rob you blind or ask you for directions to somewhere you have never heard of" way. I anticipated the worst and buried my keys in my jeans pocket. There was no way they were taking my car with out me putting up a struggle. Mind you - I think the insurance would be worth more than the car is at the moment. I want my BMW back.

It was the latter. Directions for somewhere that yes, ok, I HAVE heard of it but I have absolutely no idea where it is. It was a young Indian couple. You don't get many of them to the pound in our Tescos car park I can tell you. The conversation went along these lines:

"Please take the car but leave my laptop."

"Good evening. Could you please tell us how to get to Newry? Or Craigavon. . . "

"Blink Blink" (Ok - I didn't SAY Blink Blink.)

But I Blinked. Because - Newry is thatta way and Craigavon is um - nowhere near there and sort of a completely different direction and it was taking me a little minute to work out the connection between the two.

"Newry or Craigavon?"

"Yes. Please."

"Um."

At this point I was like a rabbit in headlights - I doubt I could have found the rear of my own car never mind the way out of the car park. In fact - for "Newry" I pointed at the petrol station and indicated they should go that way until common sense took over and I pivoted on the balls of my feet a full 180 and pointed at the other exit.

I asked a little more and they admitted they had come from Dublin today and had missed Newry and were in fact trying to get to Monaghan. Have a wee look at the map for a minute. They had come from the south of where Dandalk is and come straight north, missing Newry and heading even further north and landing in the Tescos car park in Banbridge.

I am not too sure about the layout of that part of the world - but am fairly sure that it is damn near impossible to come from Dublin without hitting at least one roundabout in Newry. Perhaps what they meant was that they didn't actually go through Newry - there is a new by-pass there now . . . I am also fairly certain that they really probably could have found Monaghan without actually coming into Northern Ireland! I think. Wouldn't put money on that though.

So, the strange thing about talking to people in a car park in the pissing rain is that you bond quickly with them. They lady apologised for getting me wet (as she thrust a map under my nose to show me where Monaghan is) and I told her it was ok - it wasn't THAT wet as I brushed the rain from the map and held it under her interior light for a clearer view. I became concerned about how much further they would have to drive. I tried to think where they could, cheaply, roost for the night and failing that, tried to think about where they could get a cup of coffee to keep them going. They assured me, with the international sign for "we are full up," that they had already eaten and were well nourished for their expedition.

I think they were from abroad - they had definite accents but their English was very good and they even understood a couple of jokey comments I made. They have a long journey ahead of them tonight and I kinda felt like jumping into my car and saying "Follow me - I am going that way too" just to make sure they made it ok. (Talk about the Blind leading the Blind? At least they had a map!)

They drove off in the correct direction - all they had to do was make it out of the car park and to the mini roundabout where the road signs would look after them until they got to Newry.

I finished off putting the plastic bags in the boot, slammed the boot shut and tried to make it look like I had just forgotten about the trolley as opposed to deliberately having abandoned it and got into the car smug in the knowledge that I had done a good deed for the day. I was really nice to those people and I think they got value for money from me.

As I headed out the same exit as I had sent them to I glanced over at the lay-by on the right hand side and noticed a Dublin registered car sitting there with what looked like, two Indian people pointing at a map. I think there as a figure bending in the driver's window, pointing at the map too - but as I headed for Newry, I couldn't be quite sure about that.

I had a weird day today. I didn't go into work, I worked from home. But working from home is really an exercise in hiding when your childminder is your next door neighbour! I didn't put lights on at the front of the house in case the children saw them and worked only at the back of the house, in the kitchen. One plus for working from home is that I actually only got dressed at 6.30pm to go and get the kids and then all I did was pull jumpers and joggers over the top of my jammies. Am about to go and do the reverse in a minute!

Unfortunately I didn't have a car so was unable to go and get more coffee. I had to scrape the hard granules off the bottom of the jar in order to get a cup during the day. The shop may only be half a mile away - but Dude! did you see the weather today - I am sooo not walking in that!

Lunch was jam on toast. Spread with a knife.

I've said it before and just this once more I will say it again. HALLEBLOODYLUEJAH! I have FINALLY finished the order for the group of 23 people I had in weeeeeeeks ago. The orders came in from them in dribs and drabs and I really ought to have just processed the photos as I went along but I was determined to save the £1.50 postage and saved them all up until I thought the people who were going to order had finished.

The problem was, there were so many people in the photos that they spilled out over the side of the white background and I had to *paint* in around them. Oh - just take my word for it - this tried my patience (and that of everyone around me) as I struggled to find a way to do the processing to my satisfaction, while bearing in mind the customers only cared that all the faces were clear.

All done now. Thankfully. I will be a much happier bunny when all the money is in for this one. Hopefully this one order will take care of the rent and rates for this month - all in one go. Keep your fingers crossed for me huh?

The thing is - I have totally fallen head over heels in love with the guy who seems to be the leader of the group. He was so lovely to me when the group were in. He made sure I got the sitting fee from them all and made up the shortfall out of his own pocket. I have spoken to him on the phone a couple of times now and he has been in to order his photos. He was a typical male - wanting BIGGER than the BIGGEST photo I could do - he was like a proud father of his group of friends and wanted a massive portrait of them framed on the wall. I talked him down from that and hopefully he will be happy with the poster size I have just ordered for him.

He is a few years younger than me (yes - I have his phone number, address, age, job description, where he drinks on a Friday night, where he drinks on a Saturday night and where he drinks on a Sunday night - come to think of it - there isn't a drinking establishment in the town he doesn't frequent!) all in the name of business. People GIVE me their address even when there is no real need for me to have it.

I wish I could stick a photo in here of him he is THAT cute. But, my normal policy of not publishing photos of clients kinda prohibits that. Wouldn't it be nice if he became a friend - or better still - possibly - a boyfriend of a friend - then that way I could show you all how cute he actually is! He has such an adorable kinda wee pretend stutter thrown in too and - heeeHe! Must work on that. In the interest of blogging of course.

So that is what I have been doing all day basically - organising these photos. Just as I was about to checkout the order someone emailed another order through to me and I started with that. . . then I remembered that Iain had a complaint the other day that my vouchers are too dear so I made three new ones for cheaper prices then I added in a cube thing I am doing for the shop window - I'll take a photo of them when they are assembled. Photos are cheaper to me when I order over 20 of the one size so I have been saving some of these jobs until I was putting in a big order - but sometimes that kind of system really plays on my mind and gets me down. . . . I think I am done for the night now though!

Iain went to see a couple of cars tonight and thinks he will go ahead with a Mondeo he test drove. It is hardly his ideal car and it is hardly the most immaculate car in the world - but I am fed up having only one car. All that getting up on a Saturday morning to take him to work was getting me down! He had an idea about going to get it on Saturday but I told him it was more convenient for me to get it tomorrow! Dude! Get it sorted! And over and done with.

I used my new My Book today for the first time. My new Amazon widget currently tells me that it will be delivered in one day's time - whereas, in fact, it has been with me for some time now!

Can I tell you a wee secret? I don't love my new baby yet. It might take a while. Yea, sure, it is mighty strokable and it looks mighty fine but - I kinda still love my old aluminium one and the My Book absolutely stinks to high heaven of some kind of plastic-y thing. It has been affecting my sinus all day. Yea, it glows blue - but I have had to turn that away from me as the glowing was distracting and giving me a headache! So, not a lot going for it yet! It is meant to be for the office and I am not going to be porting it about so I am sure it wont annoy me too much. I went to move all my photos over to it and found that that would take up 117gb of the 320gb available and I am just not too sure if I want to take up that much room on it. Might rethink that one.

I have been shouting at David all week to take responsibility to say thank you to Dawn for her kind gift - which he actually likes! Finally he got round to it tonight. Randomly, I asked him just minutes after he sent her a text and he confirmed he has sent it. Minutes later he ran downstairs giggling away to himself - "she says I am welcome - but who am I?" I think this was the funniest thing that happened to him all week! He has changed sim card since the last time he texted her!

More Work Work Work tomorrow. Ho Hum.


Oh - it is the 1st December now - you can go on ahead and put your tree up now.

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The weirdest thing happened today in work. (Apart from the fact I was there by 10am which is practically unheard of!)

I went out for 30 minutes to do a bank lodgment and a trip to the post office and when I came back there was a pile of debris on the ground outside our front door.


I stood and looked at it for a moment and saw a pile of burned matchsticks. It was as if someone had just emptied an ashtray out in one go. It was just to the left of the door.

I spoke to Iain about it and he went out to look at it and saw much more!

Someone had sat and burned matches, left the matches and box, left the packaging from superglue and the packaging from a pack of razors.

They had then used the glue to glue the razors to the flag stones. Why did they? Why did they? Why did they? I just can't get over it.
We have no idea when they did it all - presumably in the 30 minutes I was out but it was in plain view of where Iain was standing. Before we left for the day Iain picked it all up. There is a guy who comes and keeps the general area of the shops tidy and brushed up but Iain was afraid that a child would come and get cut.

I think it was the mint sweet that did it for me! A couple of weeks ago, when I did that talk to the school kids, one boy asked me what was the weirdest photo I had ever taken. I should have answered him "I will be taking it quite soon, when someone glues razors to the paving outside our shop for no reason!

How bizarre and how random huh?

A while back a photographer friend of mine passed on a wedding to me that he was unable to do. I spoke to the Groom's Mother on the phone and "booked" the day (9th July) and invited her in to visit me in the studio to discuss packages and to pay a booking fee.

That was months ago and I never saw the family. A chance remark at another wedding recently reminded me that they had never booked properly and I started to worry that they would expect me to turn up on the day even though I am now going to be in the middle of a summer holiday in France then!

I rang the original photographer yesterday and asked him to probe a little for me. He rang me this afternoon to say that they had gone on ahead and booked with another photographer - I mustn't have made a very good impression on the phone! - but at two thirds of the price I had quoted. I am not particularly dear but the other price is just ridiculously cheap and I have to wonder what service they are going to receive for that price.

I don't really care though - this has been causing me a little stress over the past while because I never was quite sure if I had told them if I had officially booked the day and had they come back to me and said they were counting on me I would have had a little bit of a problem on my hands.


it has been a very good lesson for me though. A friend told me this week he tells couples they are the "third in the book and it isn't confirmed until they pay the deposit." That is very good advice.

I will always remember this when dealing with couples from now on. I will always tell them that the day isn't booked in my diary until there is money in my acco